NARCISSISTIC PARENTAL ALIENATION
IS CHILD ABUSE
WHAT IS PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME?
"Induced parental alienation is a specific form of psychological child abuse, which is listed in DSM-5,
the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association,
under diagnostic code V 995.51 "child psychological abuse".
"Untreated induced parental alienation can lead to long-term traumatic
psychological and physical effects in the children concerned."
-Parental Alienation Syndrome-
A serious form of child psychological abuse - PubMed
"A person who attempts to alienate their co-parent from their children may be dealing with
narcissistic personality disorder, or they may be showing signs of other emotional instability.
In other cases, the alienating parent might feel compelled to seek revenge or punish their co-parent,
or they will do anything necessary to gain full custody of their child."
-Parental Alienation: What It Means and How to Recognize It-
PARENTS.COM
WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC PARENTAL BRAINWASHING?
Narcissistic parental brainwashing occurs when a parent with narcissistic tendencies psychologically manipulates the child into thinking false narratives about the other parent. This could entail painting the other parent as dangerous, unloving, unintelligent, or somehow not good for the child.
Many PAS children respond to this programming in such a way that they seem to completely forget or suppress any positive feelings or experiences they’ve had with the targeted parent.
-Narcissistic Parental Brainwashing-
PSYCHCENTRAL
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF PARENTAL ALIENATION?
Negative talk: The child consistently talks negatively about the alienated parent, often repeating phrases or criticisms they've heard from the favored parent.
Lack of guilt: The child shows no remorse or concern about their poor behavior towards the alienated parent.
Unfounded accusations: The child makes exaggerated or unfounded complaints against the alienated parent.
Idealization of favored parent: The child perceives the favored parent as perfect and can see no fault in them, often in stark contrast to their view of the alienated parent.
Withdrawal and distance: The child becomes emotionally distant, unresponsive, or even hostile toward the alienated parent.
Resistance to visits: The child strongly resists spending any time with the alienated parent, often making excuses to avoid visits.
Rejection of extended family: The child extends their negative feelings and behaviors toward family members associated with the alienated parent, like grandparents, uncles, and aunts.
Selective memory: The child may claim not to remember any positive experiences or emotions associated with the alienated parent, focusing only on the negative aspects.
Fear or anxiety: In some cases, the child might show signs of fear or anxiety when interacting with the alienated parent, even if there is no history of abuse or mistreatment.
Support for the alienating parent: The child strongly sides with the favored parent in disputes, showing little interest in hearing the alienated parent's perspective.
THE CHILDS "OWN OPINIONS" ARE OFTEN IMPLANTED AND THEN OVERLY EMPHASIZED
BY THE MANIPULATING PARENT,
DESPITE THE CHILDS INNATE LACK OF ADULT SITUATIONAL CONTEXT AND COMPREHENSION.
THE CHILD'S ABUSER EXPLOITS THIS INNOCENCE BY MANIPULATING UNECCESARY AND FABRICATED
FEELINGS OF ANGER, RESENTMENT, CONTEMPT, GUILT, AND EVEN FEAR
WITHIN THEIR OWN CHILD AS AN AVENUE TO THEIR PERSONAL AGENDA AND INTERESTS.
THE LONG TERM WELL BEING OF THEIR CHILD
MEANS NOTHING IN COMPARISION TO THE ABUSERS OWN SELFISH
WANTS, DESIRES, DELUSIONS.
THEY WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOVE THEIR CHILD MORE THAN THEY HATE THEIR CO-PARENT
BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN PUTTING SOMEONE ELSE'S NEEDS BEFORE THEIR OWN
AND TRUE NARCISSISTS SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO THAT,
EVEN IF THAT PERSON IS THEIR OWN OFFSPRING.
"Children may struggle with self-esteem, guilt, and self-hatred, as they can internalize hatred toward the targeted parent and are led to believe, incorrectly, that the parent did not love or want them."
-PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
“It is not the bruises on the body that hurt.
It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.”
-Aisha Mirza
“We can deny our experience, but our body remembers.”
-Jeanne McElvaney, Spirit Unbroken: Abby’s Story
It is now well established that childhood maltreatment,
or exposure to abuse and neglect in children under the age of 18, has devastating consequences.
Over the past two decades, research has begun not only to define the consequences
in the context of health and disease but also to elucidate mechanisms underlying
the link between childhood maltreatment and medical, including psychiatric, outcomes.
Research has begun to shed light on how childhood maltreatment mediates disease risk and course.
Childhood maltreatment increases risk for developing psychiatric disorders
(e.g., mood and anxiety disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder [PTSD],
antisocial and borderline personality disorders, and substance use disorders).
It is associated with an earlier age at onset and a more severe clinical course
(i.e., greater symptom severity) and poorer treatment response to pharmacotherapy or psychotherapy.
Early-life adversity is also associated with increased vulnerability to several major medical disorders,
including coronary artery disease and myocardial infarction,
cerebrovascular disease and stroke, type 2 diabetes, asthma, and certain forms of cancer.
The net effect is a significant reduction in life expectancy in victims of child abuse and neglect.
PREVELANCE AND CONSEQUENCES
of CHILDHOOD MALTREATMENT
It is estimated that one in four children will experience child abuse or neglect at some point
in their lifetime, and one in seven children have experienced abuse over the past year.
However, it is widely accepted that statistics on such reports represent a significant underestimate of the prevalence of childhood maltreatment, because the majority of abuse and neglect goes unreported.
This is especially true for certain types of childhood maltreatment (notably emotional abuse and neglect),
which may never come to clinical attention but have devastating consequences on
health independently of physical abuse and neglect or sexual abuse.
Although rates of children being reported have remained relatively consistent over recent decades,
our understanding of the devastating medical and clinical consequences of childhood maltreatment
has grown, and childhood maltreatment is now well established as a
major risk factor for adult psychopathology.
-The Devastating Clinical Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect-
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF
PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME
-The child constantly and unfairly criticizes the alienated parent,
sometimes called a “campaign of denigration”.
-The child doesn’t have any strong evidence, specific examples,
or justifications for the criticisms or only has false reasoning.
-The child’s feelings about the alienated parent aren’t mixed.
They’re all negative, with no redeeming qualities to be found.
This is sometimes called “lack of ambivalence.”
-The child claims the criticisms are all their own conclusions and based on their own independent thinking.
In reality, in PA, in conjunction with coo-berating abusers within the family,
the alienating parent is said to “program” the child with these ideas.
-The child has unwavering support for the alienator.
-The child doesn’t feel guilty about mistreating or hating the alienated parent.
-The child uses terms and phrases that seem borrowed from adult language when referring to situations
that never happened or happened before the child’s memory.
-Parental Alienation Syndrome-
MIMICKING ADULT PHRASES AND SENTIMENTS
“For example, a child might say to the target parent ‘You never pay for anything,’ or
‘You don’t care about anyone but yourself,’
which are more along the sentiments of a marital discourse versus a parent-child exchange,”
says Dr. Marianetti-Leeper.
The child acts parentified.
In this scenario, “the child acts as the de facto spouse in the household
while the target parent has been demoralized, infantilized, and
in essence demoted to child status,” -Dr. Marianetti-Leeper.
Anxiety.
Depending upon the child’s developmental age and stage, they might internalize
the strife and division in the parental dyad and not know why they
feel worried and out of control or what to do about it, explains Dr. Marianetti-Leeper.
The child shuts down.
Lapointe adds that the alienated parent may notice the child is less keen to come to them
with questions, wants, and needs and may even begin to act afraid of them.
In the short term,
parental alienation can also cause the child to refuse to interact or spend time with the targeted parent.
It can force them to choose between parents or blame themselves for divorce or strife between the parents.
In the long term, it can have lasting impacts:
Parental alienation can cause depression and anxiety, low self-esteem,
and even lead to alcohol abuse in adulthood.
“This is a horrific kind of mental manipulation that is abusive and likely carries an impact that is lifelong
in terms of the damage it creates regarding the child template for how relationships are meant to happen,”
says Lapointe.
“Those children will eventually grow into adults who are likely to spend much of their adulthood
trying to reorganize this template and heal the wounds created by this abuse.”
-Parental Alienation: What It Means and How to Recognize It-
PARENTS.COM
WHAT KIND OF PERSON
WOULD TRY TO ALIENATE A CHILD
FROM THE OTHER PARENT?
"This phenomenon often originates with a parent who is narcissistic and/or emotionally unstable.
They may be motivated by a desire for revenge against their ex or
they may need an outlet so desperately that they transfer their pain and rage to the child.
Alienated parents sometimes show borderline tendencies, as well."
-Parental Alienation | Psychology Today-
ABUSIVE TRIANGULATION
MILD - MODERATE - SEVERE
Like many psychiatric disorders, the severity of PA may be classified as mild, moderate, and severe.
This is an important feature because the appropriate intervention for this mental condition
depends on the severity of a particular case.
While the choice of treatment depends primarily on the symptoms in the child,
it may also depend on the intensity of the indoctrination and the attitude of the alienating parent.
Mild
Parental Alienation means that the child resists contact with the alienated parent
but enjoys a relationship with that parent once parenting time is underway.
A typical intervention for mild PA is strongly worded instruction or psychoeducation.
For example, a judge might clearly order the parents to stop exposing their child to conflict and stop undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent.
Or, a parenting coordinator might meet with the parents to help them communicate
in a constructive manner and support each other’s relationship with the child.
Moderate
PA means that the child strongly resists contact and is
persistently oppositional during parenting time with the alienated parent.
The treatment for moderate Parental Alienation -
assuming both parents are committed and cooperative
with the intervention-usually focuses on changing the behavior of the parents
(ie, reducing the amount of conflict, improving communication).
A parenting coordinator works with the parents together and individual counseling or coaching is usually arranged for the alienating parent, the alienated parent, and the child.
However, this approach will not work if the preferred parent does not endorse and support the treatment program and continues to engage in alienating behaviors.
Severe
SEVERE Parental Alienation means that the child persistently and adamantly refuses contact
and may hide or run away to avoid being with the alienated parent.
When the child manifests a severe level of PA,
the alienating parent is usually obsessed with the goal of
destroying the child’s relationship with the targeted parent.
The alienating parent has little or no insight and is convinced of the righteousness of their behavior.
It is usually necessary to protect the child from the influence of the
alienating parent by removing the child from their custody,
greatly reducing the parenting time with that parent, and
requiring the parenting time to be supervised.
That is, when a parent purposefully causes a child to reject their relationship with the other parent,
that constitutes child psychological abuse.
The intervention is similar to what happens in cases of physical or sexual abuse,
i.e., removal of the child from the care of that parent, at least temporarily.
